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I Only Specialize in Unrequited Love

November 15th, 2005 (08:27 pm)

straylight Romeo: i only specialize in unrequited love.
Illusions NY: see that, I can relate to.
Illusions NY: why is it that we can TOTALLY accept each other's love?
straylight Romeo: because we know each-other more deeply than anyone else on earth.
Illusions NY: aren't there others either of us can let in?
straylight Romeo: as long as they have no romantic feelings for us whatsoever.

I whine alot about love. How I want it, how amazing it is, and especially how much it's hurt me.

Tonight, I broke a boy's heart. He was nothing but nice to me. Appreciated every single good quality that I have. He saw me, or at least was well on his way.

I was butterflies for him.

But he wasn't for me.

Despite his being perfect on paper ... it just didn't feel right. I got freaked out by someone actually liking me.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Can I really only fall for the ones that I don't have a chance with? Is it an unconscious sabotage on my part? Do I honestly fear being close with anyone so much that I'm only attracted to those I know will never feel anything towards me?

It's becoming a strangely viable option.

Because of my cavalier attitude, someone is crying tonight.

Karma is a bitch. And I deserve everything I get.

I'm sorry.

Comments

Posted by: Dulari (dularigandhi)
Posted at: November 16th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC)

methinks if you stay with someone until you can't take it anymore and then break up with them it hurts them more.

no rationalizing or good words from your friends will make it better, though. you're still gonna feel like shit. so i'm sorry, too.

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